Troy
by: Curio Agelastus
Ok, I was brave/stupid enough to go see this movie, and having just got back, I decided to warn the rest of you. Don't see this movie unless you want to spend the whole time with your mouth agape in horror. Be warned, I give away important plot devices in this review.

The inaccuracies are many and startlingly amateur. However, I'm no expert, so feel free to correct me. Starting with the historical:
Many of the warriors seem to be equipped with iron, which was actually a rarity in the Mycenaean age (called the Bronze Age for a reason, folks!)
The warriors on both sides ride horses. Now I could be wrong, but I thought the common consensus was that the art of horse-riding was unknown to the Mycenaens, and that horses were used to pull chariots (which did also feature in the film).

Now the less forgivable errors, most of which appear to have been done to facilitate the plot. (Surprise, surprise!)
  • Hektor is on the original voyage to Sparta, so that he can have an argument with Paris about his taking Helen to Troy.
  • In the beginning, Agamemnon is marching to subdue the Thessalians (which is fair enough, we can't be *certain* that he didn't) and they settle the manner with a duel of champions. That's right, the Greek champion is Achilles, who was a Thessalian! He was the son of the Thessalian High King! And the Thessalian High King, Peleus, didn't even know him!
  • Helen, late in the film, says "Sparta is not my home. I was sent there when I was 16 to marry Menelaus, but it was never my home." Oh dear, Sparta was in fact her home, and Menelaus became its ruler because he married her, after Tyndareus' death.
  • The first ship to reach the beach is Achilles' whereas actually it was the ship of Iolaos that reached the beach of Troy first.
  • Achilles meets Ajax for the first time on the beach at Troy - given that they were cousins, I consider this somewhat unlikely.
  • Patrokles and Aeneas are both portrayed as raw youths, whereas IIRC Patrokles was the same age as Achilles, and Aeneas was not the rosy-cheeked shepherd boy that the film makes him.
However, these are more minor points compared to the rest:
  • Menelaus dies on the second day! That's right he wounds Paris in the duel, and then gets killed by Hektor! WHAT!
  • Ajax also dies on the second day, killed by Hektor after an admittedly very good duel. Again, WHAT!
  • The whole war seems to last little more than a couple of weeks - I know they had to condense the action but that's going a bit too far...
  • Agamemnon is made into the evil villain - I'll never be an Agamemnon fan, but I think they went too far to make him into the villain of the piece.
This is however a subjective point.

Less subjective is the fact that Achilles and Paris both survive to reach the sack of Troy! Paris only kills Achilles in Troy itself! And Paris seems to survive the whole thing!

Also subjectively, I think Sean Bean, though he made a very good effort, wasn't right as Odysseus, and Helen and Paris were both too remorseful for the carnage they had brought on Troy. But again that's just a matter of opinion, and the points mentioned above are much more serious.

In summary, this film is a crock of shit. If you go and see it, look out for the fight sequences, some of which are very well done. The rest of it is bullshit, despite several good actors doing well in the roles given to them. (Especially Hektor and Odysseus.)
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